Just an Average Day
by Kat Dakuu
Summary: Prussia is a prankster. America is an idiot. Together they manage to drag half the world into a fight after Prussia thinks he killed America. Crack.


"What the hell?! Don't come near me with that perverted smile on your face! England! France! Someone help, Prussia is gonna rape me!" America yelled as he ran down the hall, flapping his arms madly with teardrops flinging behind him. The albino man followed at a much more dignified run, his red eyes glowing and his smirk nearly jumping right off his face. The few people in the halls still loitering after the meeting now jumped aide and simply watched. Other than the flustered expressions and the muttered 'watch outs!', no one moved a finger to help.

"Wait, America! Don't you love my awesome self?" Prussia called after the blonde. When America dashed into his office and slammed the door closed, Prussia skid to a stop outside it and began banging on the door so hard it shook in its frame. Over the loud knocking noises, he could hear America flailing on the other side. The ring a dialing phone joined in a second later. So America was still intent on calling for help? Honestly Gilbert started this as a joke, but America's wailing face made him want to keep pressing and pressing farther than he should have.

He'd be damned if a locked door stopped him now. America only possessed half a brain so Gilbert knew he could find another way in no trouble. Dashing off, he hopped out a nearby window and grabbed a tree branch. From there, he swung for the window left cracked open to his target's office.

Inside, America gripped his phone in a white knuckled hand. When it stopped dialing with a faint _click _sound, he gazed around until suddenly... "Ah shit! I knocked my coffee onto the wires!" He dropped to his knees and started blowing on the wet wires to dry them quicker. "No no no no...must quicker..." He grabbed the cord without thinking and a shock surged out of it and into his hand.

"Haha! I have come to steal your vital regions...eh?" Gilbert stopped when he didn't see anyone in the office. No witty come-back, no voice begging to be spared reached him and that made Prussia worry. "America? He can't have gotten out. The door is still locked..." the albino muttered to himself as he stepped around the desk to get a better view of the room. His eyes went wide from what he saw. America lay on the ground, a limp hand draped over some sparking phone wires. Taking in the unconscious body and still slightly open blue eyes, Prussia came to one conclusion.

"Oh god, he's dead. America is dead! America! _Americaaaa!_" the albino man wailed before shaking the blonde's shoulders so madly that he flopped and flailed. No response. Prussia gathered up the other nation in his arms and ran for the door, kicking it clean off the frame so he could charge into the halls. "Someone help, America died!" Only now did a few people start paying attention, if only because Prussia's voice split their ears.

England headed out of the meeting room with his arms full of papers when he spotted a white and golden blur racing down the hall. The screams following it drifted out from behind. "I killed America!" A vein burst above one of England's obscenely large eyebrows. "Bastard! That's my baby you killed!" he yelled before taking chase.

Along the way, he passed Canada who noted the screams with a gasp. "Oh dear...America?" the meek nation muttered with a worried bite of his nails. He supposed he should go make sure his brother really was dead. It did seem most unlikely. A meek nation like Canada maybe...but America? As he was worrying, France dropped a hand on his shoulder.

"Wait, England. America is right here!" the Frenchman called after the retreating blurs. Canada blushed furiously, though he should be used to this by now.

"...No, I'm Canada."

"Who?"

"You're kinda my older brother, France. Remember...Canada?" Francis' eyes finally widened as he realized which brother he was standing in front of. He grabbed Canada in a big hug.

"Wow, you've grown so big little Mattie! When did you get here?" the flashy nation exclaimed before finally pulling away. For a second, he looked confused when he couldn't remember what he was doing before the meek nation distracted him. Canada, already bored with explaining himself just pointed down the hall.

"Weren't we going to help America...?" he asked. France's eyes went even wider. He exclaimed something, then turned to run after Prussia, America, and England. Letting out a sigh at being left again, Canada grabbed the papers England dropped before turning to the hall. "I'm coming brother." And with that, he shuffled after the group.

Prussia had yet to slow down though he ran out of hall pretty quick. In his panic, he just ran meaninglessly to get attention, but what exactly was he supposed to do when everyone learned he killed the amazing america-not as awesome as himself-but _almost _the modern equivalent. "Aha! West will know!" Gilbert exclaimed suddenly as he skidded to a stop. Just in time too; he'd come to a hall that ended in a stained glass window and a drop down three stories. Prussia turned and started running back the way he came so he could find his little brother. Calling out to the people diving out of his way, he almost waved a hand before he realized doing so would mean dropping America. "Quick, we're going to Germany!"

Voices that yelled back things like: "I'm going to bloody murder you. Stay still!" or "Germany? Oh my...so far. Can we take a break?" were ignored. He didn't care about that. He continued to run here and there as the voices behind him grew in number and insistency. "Alfred...?" Unimportant. Didn't they understand that only Germany could fix this problem! "Geez what a problem..."

Prussia careened around a corner and gathered a few more tag-a-longs.

"Vee, a party!"

"Hey, he still owes me money! Stop running Prussia so I can shake it out of him!" That voice was most definitely China.

By the time Prussia made it to West's office, he had more than ten nations trailing after him. "Brother! I need your help!" With that, Prussia kicked open the door, this time without fully knocking it off the frame. The military man looked up from a pile of paperwork before his eyes nearly bugged out of his head. Without any pomp, Prussia dumped Alfred on his brother's desk. Ludwig surged up out of his chair, body shaking in anger before he grabbed Gilbert by the collar.

"What are you doing!? Are you trying to drag me into your problems again? Get that _thing _off from my desk!" The bigger man roared. Gilbert sputtered, his red eyes going wide as he dragged his brother's hands away to begin yelling at him.

"But it's America and-" Another voice cut off Prussia before he could finish his statement.

"He killed my precious 'meri!" England screamed, running for the desk. Canada grabbed him from behind before he could commit an international incident.

"No no...we should try to talk this out," the blonde boy said in a meek voice that didn't even make it out over the voices of the other nations cramped into the office. Japan nodded from the corner he occupied.

The two german nations didn't even notice the squabble. "I don't care about your problems. When are you going to grow up?" Ludwig pushed Gilbert back and a second later the two nations were grappling and yelling. Ludwig pulled his older brother into a headlock, Gilbert biting down on his arm. A wild kick of his leg sent England crashing into France so hard they tumbled into a wall.

"What the hell, frog. Get out of my way!" England snapped and tried to untangle himself from the long strands of blonde hair that wrapped themselves around his hand.

"You're way? You hit me first!" Francis yelled and yanked hard on Arthur's leg to get it off of him. Arthur threw a punch. Francis yanked his hair. They crashed into the middle of the room, dislodging two other nations who were fighting for a view of America.

"Bloody Git!"

The other nations quickly devolved into their own fighting. Ludwig tried to beat some sense into his brother. France and England just tried to beat each other. China wanted his money and Japan and Canada just wanted this to end. Russia wanted to know who got America's land and Italy left to go get cake. They fought so long and so hard that half the world's nations soon got involved. Even well into the night, the fight still raged. At some point, America tumbled down from the desk and the jolt jogged him out of his unconscious state. He blinked his eyes blearily, not understanding the situation.

Groaning, America sat up from where he sat with his legs still on the desk and the rest of him on the floor. His eyes widened more by the second as he took in the room full of squabbling nations and for once in his life, he felt a loss for words. "U-um guys...I'm not dead," he said with a half-hearted laugh, raising one hand. Not a single nation noticed him. "Guys? Really, I'm alright! Guys?!"

With no other choice, he slunk out of the room and settled at the nearest Starbucks, nursing a growing headache.

ooo

**(I swear I don't even know why I wrote this. But isn't it at least a little funny? I hold that a scene like this really is an average day at a world meeting. The title isn't even sarcastic. Poor adorable idiot America.)**


End file.
